It was an early Sunday afternoon like most others. I was craving a nap. (Isn’t that what your Sundays are like?) We had just wrapped up a great morning with lots of people at our house for church. Later that night we were having another worship experience. The time in between then seemed the best chance to refuel by catching that nap.
My wife took our kids to go celebrate our nephew’s birthday, and I stumbled…yes, literally stumbled…back into the living room to lay down. I had that “eyes burning I’m so exhausted” feeling. I knew that no sooner than my head would hit a pillow…I would be out cold.
Except…it didn’t happen that way.
Here is my journal from April 22, 2012…
“God wouldn’t let me sleep. Cara w/ Ella, Oscar and Sawyer @ Caleb’s B-Day Party. HAGGAI 1:9 ARRIVED. I read the whole book and something clicked. It was like staring my life past/present/future right in the face.”
This next part I went back and recorded at a later date to make sure I didn’t miss what happened.
“By continuing to write out all the verses from a chapter of the small tithe book…I came across Haggai 1:9…and it opened the beginning of of what would turn out to be the floodgates of God speaking to me.”
That afternoon was the moment that changed my life forever. I can remember being completely, physically stretched out over a large ottoman in our living room almost in shock. It had been literally years of pain, frustration and confusion as to why every single time I tried to “get ahead” it wouldn’t last.
Here is what Haggai 1:9 says (The New International Version)
“You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house”.
Black and white.
Staring me right in the face.
No doubt whatsoever that God was very clear as to the reason why I was experiencing what I was.
Now it was decision time.
How would I react?
If today was marked by the collision of the confusion of my past with the revelation of my present…tomorrow would be the day that raw emotion couldn’t be contained any longer. Today was about complete and utter awe. I was emotionally knocked off of my high horse and shown the truth.
Tomorrow would see an eruption take place.
One I was not fully prepared for, yet completely needed.
Before you leave tonight, I’d encourage you to look at Psalm 127 again.
The “house” reference. The connection. Pretty incredible, really, how God speaks to us. How a couple of days ago he shows me that scripture…and then Haggai 1:9.
How I would react to and ultimately handle this moment played out the next day.
And with that I’ll let you go tonight…
and tomorrow I will share with you another version of letting go.
Day 5 was the day I had to…
LET IT GO.
What? Let go of what?
Tomorrow. I’ll tell you, tomorrow. I promise.