What I Learned on July 4th.

The greatest moment of independence arrives because of consistent moments of dependence.

This picture was at the end of a very long and very fun July 4th that we spent with close friends.  It was a reminder to me that as each day goes by, these three little faces of our kids, will be fighting for their own independence in a way.  They will be discovering who they are who they are created to be.  But if we let them have total independence now it wouldn’t work.  There is just too much that they don’t know, can’t do on their own yet, and would get hurt trying if they did.  So, as parents, we let them depend on us.  And here is the key:

When their dependence on us is matched with our desire to let them build their independence, you have the ending everyone wants.

There will be little celebrations along the way marking the moments that a new set of independence in their lives has come.  And we will celebrate those as they come, one by one, for each child.  My reminder to all of us today is to realize that we will have people in our lives who desperately want more independence.  Instead of telling them all of the reasons why they can’t have it, try being a resource of dependence for them so that they can earn it.

Telling someone no all the time isn’t nearly as inspiring, rewarding and fulfilling as telling them that you’ll help them get there.  Can you be depended on to be that resource for the people in your life that need it?  Are you willing to be the one who needs to depend on others to help you earn your independence?  Most likely you have experienced both sides.

Independence is fun.  Actually, it can be REALLY fun.

Just remember, no one ever really got there on their own.  That’s the stuff of fairy tales and day dreams.  And in reality it works differently.  And the best part?  In reality it’s way more fun to get to that point together, with others.  That’s why July 4th was so much fun for us.

We had our kids, family and close friends.




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